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Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Forty fuckin two inches

I've got 9 days for the competition.

Waistline is an illogical 42 inches with 6 pack no where in sight.

Only positives are that I have stacked some muscle mass and am stronger than ever. 

But what's the fuckin point man? 6 pack is paramount for symmetry.

So I've got this new 9 fuckin day program to chisel my frame.

Lifting heavy weights and some crazy cardio. I don't wanna 6 pack at the cost of my natural muscle mass.

Let's see how this unfolds.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

6 pack in 4 weeks ?

Man this is fucked up.

I have only 4 weeks left to get on stage...and I can't even see my 6 pack.

Tremendous gut in the way.

Muscle mass has gone up considerably. I'm slightly more stronger than my usual levels.

Leg pressing a little shy of a ton (900kg) for 15 reps, barbell shrugs at 220kg for 10 reps, shoulder press at 200kg for 10 reps, yea... Life is good.

So how do I get a 6 pack in 30 fuckin days ?

First of all, let's get some clarity on the goals here. A mere 6 pack is no good on stage. It has to be chiseled, I should be around 5% fat. I'm what, 20%+ now ?

So basically I should reach visibility on my 6 pack a lot sooner, because the last few weeks have to be used for the final chiseling bit.

Define 'a lot sooner'

I need to reach 6 pack visibility on my 42" waistline within the next 14 days. That's what? 10 inches of waistline in 10 days ? WTF.

What are the chances huh ? Anyway, being a student of probability theory, Im gonna use some random ass stochastic processes to manifest my 6 pack.

Nothing is  impossible. It's just a matter of probability.

So what are the chances that I get a 6 pack in 10 days ? 1 in a million ? Fine. So what's the next step.

Easy.

What is the secret to success in any aspect of life ? 2 things

1. Minimize of odds of failure
2. Increase odds of success

Although 1 in a million is a bit ambitious, ain't nothin to it but to do it.

The game plan ? Here goes

1. Hyper trophy - contrary to the advice of every bodybuilder who's walked the planet, I'm gonna bulk till dooms day

2. Drown - I'm gonna double down on water intake.

3. Chewing the Cud - Broccoli is my new bitch. I'm gonna eat her all day

4. Everything's fishy - WWF is gonna have to worry about a whole new streak of endangered fish species by the time I'm done.

5. Aerobics - as pussy as it may sound, I'm incorporating 2 variations of this EXCLUDING my hypertrophic endeavors.

6. No more freedom for free radicals - gonna double down with my anti oxidants

7. Pharmer's harvest - all supplements are from musclepharm. Protein, creatine, multivitamin, the works

8. Hibernation - gonna double down on long deep sleep and afternoon naps. Thanks to relax m for great knock out effects

9. Good bye kidneys - gonna eat more protein than the Kraken can fathom. I hope my kidneys can take 4 weeks of this. Dear Kidneyrane and Kidneyrina, I promise you honies I'll give you a break immediately after the competition. Bear with me and keep filtering that protein would ya ? I promise I'll take liv52 and truck loads of water to protect your ass.

10. Psychopath Mode - clearly this kinda beating is not for the sane. The brain will take a subtle detour to the road less traveled, hoping to return back to the 'sane' world of 'society' soon after competition.

So there you go. That's 10 steps to reduce the probability of failure and increase the probability of success.
Let's see how the days unfold.

Signing off with waistline at 42 inches

Peace.

Monday, March 23, 2015

11 Weeks Out. Perfect 6 pack...underneath gargantuan flabs...

Yea, new goals.

Im competing.

13th June 2015

Waistline is hovering around 41 inches. Target is 30 inches....in 11 weeks. WTF.

Have I done it before? Thrice. 2006,2007 and 2008.

But then I was a small kid man.

Im fuckin 35 now.

Solution...

Photoshop ? Nah....might get me some girls off facebook but...... wont help on stage.

Liposuction? Thats scary shit...and it might even suck the muscle out perhaps? :-p

Steroids? Now who doesnt love a short cut? But nope. They've got dope testing. Its a natural competition.

Im a man who stands for ethics and values, but for the right price, Im up for sale B-)

So what am I gonna do with this air bag installed on my waist?

In spite of being a safety cushion in car accidents, Im gonna give it up. Im changing my rep range and going heavy.

It's not all about a 6 pack. I need a 6 pack with some killer muscle mass.....WTF...

Like my great grand ma said, Go Heavy or Go Home.

Weighing 105.2 kg as of March 22nd.

Later...

Monday, January 20, 2014

10 Day Sprint

I'm doing a 10 day "Lifting Sprint".

I'm deadlifting well, 6 pack is beginning to show, I still eat a few nasty snacks in the day, life is good.

I've gained immense definition on upper back and arms, thanks to weighted dips, i strongly recommend the same to all.

Erection is rock solid, owing to high intensity cardio, heart rate above 160.

Protein intake around 180g, getting my essential fatty acids, keeping carbs in check, things are good.

Still got some loose gut, but fuck that...mofukka's been shrinkin anyway....

Here's what I'm gonna do.

Im gonna just go motherfuckin full throttle for 10 days. For Fun.

Deadline: Feb 1st 2014
Measurement Metric: Break the gym.
Waistline goal: None
Body Weight goal: None
Intensity Metric: Die in every session, 60 minutes.
Weights Metric: Lift enough to make the earth sink
Cardio: Sprint like I've got a rottweiler my ex-wife on my tail

Feb 1st. Here I come :-)

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Fat loss aint for me.

My waistline is at 41 inches.

I don't care.

I give up.

I don't want a 6 pack.

I don't like the drill to get to a 6 pack. I'm getting laid anyway. So why the pursuit? Fuck it.

I love McDonalds.

I like KFC.

I love Raffaello


Goal setting is boring.

Fat loss is boring.

Im a enjoy.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

14 days to a 6 pack

I am the strongest I have been in 33 years.

I have broken my Bench, Dead & Leg press record week after week.

This aint stopping. So I'm gonna go easy on the weights now.

Im taking my hormone optimization to a whole new level.

This is the beginning of a 14 day shredder plan that includes hiking up my testosterone levels naturally to gargantuan levels.

Food tastes shit, I can outeat an elephant when it comes to grass...

Chewing on chlorophyll is like chewing cardboard, and God knows, I prefer cardboard.

I was weighing 101.6kg yesterday, waistline hovering at 39.9 inches.

Today is Day 2.

Stay tuned.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Race to a 6 Pack

The stubborn belly fat is not going to disappear unless we take some drastic measures.

I have hiked up my weights and tweaked my cardio.

I took a before pic yesterday and was weighing 102.6 kg.

Today I'm at 101.6 kg.

Things look good.

Heading to the gym to blast my shoulders.